The idea of mocking a super-arrogant naked woman is actually pretty great, and the voice acting is just right, but it desperately needs to be wrapped up in some way rather than looping. With something as short and simple as this animation it shouldn't be too much to ask for a punchline or final "button" to give it a proper end.
If only the writing were better
It's really a shame, the animation and sound is great and the characters are okay in design, but the writing... It's just so... predictable and lame. I know that in projects like these the writer is "god" but all of the jokes feel like you're hearing the writer DESCRIBE the joke, rather than actually having the characters drive the plot.
I just get sad to see so much good work being put making such a bland script a realization. He cuts off the dogs leg but it doesn't do anything? They sit and scream in horror and the dog just keeps bleeding. The dog gets the tiniest sip of alcohol and instantly bolts like lightning... You're trying too hard to constantly go against expectations -- that's not all that humor is. Even Monty Python knew that you had to make the audience feel like everything was normal before you did something totally wacky. The key to "left-field" humor is the fact that everything else is normal. Once EVERYTHING is left field, there is no more left field, you know?
Also, lots of the jokes run on too long for their own good. The "Schme" scene was SO predictable from so far away, by the time you get to the actual "punchline" it's lost all of its steam. One of the best things I can suggest is that you have multiple factors going on at the same time -- this keeps people's attention split so that the scene is more lively.
Have multiple conversations intersecting, or simply cut between different scenes. For example, if you had intercut the villain dialogue scene with the hero dialogue scene, you would right away feel a more upbeat pace and feel like there was a bigger picture forming.
Anyway, there's all sorts of advice, but basically the writing is too masturbatory and self-indulgent.
Needs a punchline
Even if the general premise is funny (which it was) you need to "top it off" with something more at the end. An abrupt stop just makes you feel like you wasted time. If he smashed into a wall, or if the lady kindly placed his eyes back in his head and it was a happy ending, or something, it would have been funny.
Can't fail when you don't try
I'm sure you accomplished what you set out to, so good job on that. It was very effective at contrasting the pursuit of happiness with the grim and hopeless. Often, inhuman monsters are more "human" than those who are calloused or privileged, because they must struggle. Forcing the player to be "the parent" is a good move too then.
But why is this such a large file? Just the sound clips? And it's annoying to have to sit through everything when you replay it. Having the option to skip scenes would be wise.
Drags a bit too often
I enjoyed the video for the most part, but I felt like the conversations dragged on a bit too often. In particular, jokes like "I feel like I want to... kick a chicken!" are "random" but really kill the pacing. I'm sure it's funny to you to be able to pop a silly joke like that in there, but moments like the conversation with the guards are so funny that it makes me wish the whole thing was more concise and witty. Random humor gets old very fast unless there's a lot of action going on.
Hmm, well, that's actually nice to know you liked the guard part best, because I thought THAT was the kind of part that dragged a little :) Guess it depends on the person. Glad you enjoyed the video, thanks for the review.
Easy watching but not funny to outsiders
It's very well done and put together, but as somebody who doesn't follow Harry Potter or know the relationship between characters I can't enjoy it as much as I would if you took a few seconds to introduce things. You can guess at a lot of it, but almost all of the "jokes" are insider. Like, I don't know what Avada Kedavra is referring to even.
You can easily say it's my fault for not knowing, but introductions and establishing the plot is always a good idea.
Voldy: "Avada Kedavra", what a wonderful curse.
Draco: Avada Kedavra?
Wormtail: Yeah, it's our favourite hex.
Writing in book: "Avada Kedavra / The Killing Curse"
I could go on, but I would be basically describing the entire movie. Just wondering - did you watch it with sound on and the monitor plugged in?
Needs more hate
It seems to me that you wanted to make the main character somebody people would hate -- somebody who thinks Minecraft sucks, and then gets screwed over. But by the end, are supposed to laugh at him or sympathize with him?
Since he's deformed and ugly and has a stupid voice, I assume we're supposed to laugh at his sadness, but you haven't made him hatable enough. It just seems like you couldn't decide what to do with him, so he's just an annoying person who doesn't make me laugh. I love Minecraft but I just think the character wasn't executed properly
I assumed this was going to be a cartoon trying to be sexy, but instead it was a cartoon mocking overt sexuality, and doing it very well! It's so refreshing to see somebody who has the ability to make a raunchy toon decide to turn it on its head for the sake of humour.
I was especially impressed by the lip synching, I could actually pick out which parts of the overlaid vocals she was singing, no matter what her expression. Just superb all around, and when in combination with the song is addictive to watch.
High quality, but lacks direction
This is very impressive work on a technical level, and even the style is enjoyable but I'm afraid you need to put yourself in the "Director" chair and think purely in terms of the pacing that the viewer will want to see. All that great work is wasted if the pacing is wrong. Also, I'm sure English isn't your first language but please fix the grammar before you publish something like this -- it causes the whole project to feel less professional.
I say you could make it a lot faster, so that events are somewhat surprising. Even though you want people to enjoy all the hard work you did, people will watch it multiple times in order to see what you did.
I hope this helps you, because your technical skill really does not need any improvement to be able to make amazing work.
i'll study english from now on.
Well done but not enjoyable
The characters (most likely inspired by real people) are not actually funny, cool, interesting or deep enough to hold interest.
For you. :p
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